we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
