Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
