Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
