we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
