she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
