My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
