well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
