is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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