dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
