He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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