what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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