Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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