You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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