Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
