I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize