using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
