I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize