Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
