i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
