Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
