I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
