what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
