Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
