the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
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