Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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