just tell him i said nine months
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Mom said you looked used
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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