It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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