walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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