I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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