Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
No subtext here. People are naked.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
