You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
