nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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