Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
