White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
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