Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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