we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
