Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
