plz talk dirty to me
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
