So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
