Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize