i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
