I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
And then he peed in my hair
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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