Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
