Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
