ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
