Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
