it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
