I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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