There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
