no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
