So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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