Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
someone owes me an orgasm
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
