im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
