We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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