Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
