how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Randomize